Slowly One Shots
by MomofPhoenix
Summary: A series of one shots from Slowly Suffocating Babe. Morelli/Helen bashing
1. Chapter 1

A/N not mine, I own nothing.

Slowly One Shots

Ranger's POV

The day after Stephanie came home, I found a email addressed to myself from the core team plus Hector. I knew it was coming, I had messed up big time. I opened my mouth and inserted my foot. I announced to the world about the damn deal, and what I did afterwards. I was being called to the mats, everyday for the next 5 days, starting tomorrow morning at 5 am with Tank, followed by Lester, Bobby, then Hector. I wasn't worried about the core team, but Hector was a wild card. He could do some serious damage. He had declared Steph his sister, and that meant I was screwed. He may not have been military, but he was more dangerous than anyone in this company.

The next morning I was up and down in the gym ready to meet with Tank at 5 am. I was hoping he wouldn't break me. Tank strolled in, and stripped down to shorts and bare feet, then joined me on the mats. Before we started he had a few words of wisdom for me.

"Rangeman,you need to remember this, for Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Crap, he is quoting George Santayana. One thing I've learned is that when Tank becomes philosophical, he is in his element, and feels justified in handing you your ass. Sadly, in this case he is perfectly correct. For the next hour, he uncontestably handed me my ass. I left the gym with a pronounced limp. The next two days followed in a similar fashion, a quote, and an ass beating.

On the fourth morning I was a little worse for wear, and I was meeting Hector in the gym. To my surprise, he was fully dressed. He told me to grab my gear and follow him. I wasn't going to argue with him, and did just that. We arrived at a run down cemetery. He got out of the truck and I followed. When he stopped I drew up short, and looked down at the place holder. There was no headstone, just a small plaque that read;

Maria Estphania Curet

October 19, 1977- November 1, 1993

I realized where we were. I knew, that like me, he had mostly grown up in Jersey, but then his family moved to Miami. I now knew why. When he began to speak to me I had to listen closely, he was almost whispering.

"None of us even realized she was sick, by the time we did she was already in stage IV. Lukemia, that's what took her light from us. I cannot lose another Angel. Even you are afraid of me, Steph, she does not fear me. Her heart is the same as Maria's. She knows no fear, only love, and the greatest ability to show it. So many people in this world have treated her so badly, yet her light continues to shine. Stephanie was raised by a Mother who only hates. She was treated like garbage by so many who claimed to love her, including you. When I first met Steph, and saw how much she looked like Maria, and that they shared a name, I knew in my heart that she was a gift. A gift to all of us." He pulled out a picture of Maria, and I couldn't believe how much they looked alike. They could have been twins.

The entire ride back to Haywood, I started to understand why he did this instead of taking me to the mats. Their story shook me to my core. I was facing the possibility of a life without Stephanie in it. I screwed up, and could have had her in my life fully a long time ago, but now our time together was very uncertain. I could lose her completely at any moment, without warning. I knew whag I needed to do, it was time to live, it was our time to fly. I knew in my heart, that I could now step back from my business and watch it grow. The men in my company could make it grow, without me being as involved. ..It was time for me to change.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Not mine, I own nothing.

TISSUE WARNING!

Also please note, that these one shots will not be in chronological order.

Slowly One shots

The Death of Hector

The day started out as any other, Ranger was helping me with my morning routine. We were offline for the weekend. We have been married for almost 8 years, and we were on vacation to celebrate. We were celebrating the fact that I am a long term survivor, and our marriage. Rangers phone rang, and I instantly knew something was wrong. The only calls we were to get were if someone was dead or dying. We had never received a call while we were offline before. He answered it, and the look on his face, I can't even describe it. I had never seen it before. He hung up the phone and slid to the floor. He was shaking. This was bad, very, very bad.

"Babe? Stephanie? Come here please, sit with me please."

I went over and put my arms around and asked, "What's wrong? Who is it?"

"It's Hector Babe, it doesn't look good, we need to get back to Trenton, now."

I jumped up and began packing up my medical things, as Ranger begins to pack our other items. We begin the four hour drive from Lancaster, Pa, back to Trenton. The drive seems to take forever, and I called Bobby for an update. He couldn't tell me much, except that he had been late for his shift and Ram went to find him. He had gone into his apartment on four and found him on the floor barely breathing. They aren't sure if he had a stroke or something else was going on. They are still working to keep him stable. It doesn't look good at all.

As soon as we arrived in Trenton, we went immediately to St. Francis hospital. We were directed to the ICU. As we neared his room I had a sense of foreboding. I knew in my heart that my brother, my protector was gone. Bobby, Ram, and Tank met us at his door. They had tears in their eyes. Bobby grabbed me and held tight whispering that he was so sorry, and that the doctor wanted to speak with Ranger and I.

We made our way into his room, and he was hooked up to many machines, but he looked like he was sleeping. I lost it. Almost an hour later the doctor arrived to speak with us. He informed us that Hector had an aneurysm burst, and that while the machines were keepng his body working, he was brain dead. If the machines were removed, he would pass in minutes. He asked us if we would be willing to speak with the transplant team, that his death could mean life or hope for so many others. We agreed Hector would want that.

After speaking with the coordinator we made the decision to donate his Heart, Lungs, Kidneys, Liver, and Corneas. This was something we didn't do lightly, but knew that Hector would have wanted it this way. He was a good man, and so many people live because of him.

The day of his funeral, we called in contract workers. All of Rangeman Trenton wanted to be there, he was our brother. Members of the Trenton PD showed up as well. The Church was over flowing with people and flowers. He touched so many lives. There was one song request made by myself, On Eagles Wings. I asked to have the children's choir to sing it. This had been his favorite hymn at mass. Three large white Cala Lillies sat on top of his coffin, all other flowers were set around the vestibule. At the cemetery I could no longer hold it together. He was really gone. He was laid to rest next to his sister, we had a special headstone being made for both him, and his sister. I knew I would grieve the loss of Hector for the rest of my life.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N not mine, I own nothing.

Just a quick note, I grew up in a large Irish Catholic family...Weddings were large affairs with lots of alcohol... They are also very long, with a large amount of sit, stand, kneel. My knees hurt thinking about it.

Slowly One Shot

The Wedding

The day of our wedding dawned bright and beautiful. Yes, I swore I would never have the large Catholic circus again, but after being given another chance at life, I felt like I needed to honor it. Call it Catholic guilt, or whatever you want. I felt a need for it, and Ranger did as well. We were both able to have our previous marriages annulled by Rome, so here we were today to make it official before God, the State, and our friends and family. We had over 300 guests waiting for me to make my entrance on my Daddy's arm. Ava Maria was being sung to herald the wedding party, I was nervously waiting for the wedding march to que our entrance. Daddy and I took our places as the music began, the doors opened slowly and I took a deep breath, and we began our slow walk.

I looked up at Carlos, because at this moment in time, he was open to everyone, he was Carlos. The tears that were gathering in his eyes, had them spilling down my checks, they were tears of happiness. We made it to this point, we will have many years to come. No matter how hard I had to fight, I knew he would fight with me and for me. I got to the top of the aisle, and the priest, Father Mike began.

"Who gives this woman to this man, to be joined in the Rite of Holy Matrimony?"

"I do Father." Replied Daddy.

I lost all sense of time at that point, we were getting married. I have found my happily ever after. No matter what, I will be with him for the rest of my life. We may never have children, but we will have each next thing I knew Father Mike was telling Carlos that he may kiss his bride. As he kissed me the cheers were thunderous. We made our way to the vestibule, and to the side of the church, it was time for our wedding photos. For the next hour we had our pictures taken, then made our way to the Valencia Ballroom for our reception. I was exhausted. We knew that this would happen, so after we eat, I would dance one dance with my husband, and one with Daddy. Then we would sit, until it was time for the cake, after that I would throw my bouquet, Carlos would throw the garter, we would dance one last time then go home.

My friend Maureen, from college caught the bouquet, and Lester of all people, caught the garter. I watch the two introduce themselves to each other, and I'm not sure if it was all the alcohol that they had consumed between the two of them, or if it was real. The look in their eyes told me that they once knew and loved one another. I think they maybe rekindling an old flame.

"Carlos" I whispered, as we passed them, "Do you see it?"

"I do Carina, is that Maureen he is with?" I nodded, "They knew each other in high school, they dated until the day he left for the Army, he never thought he would see her again. " I just smiled.

It looks like we might have a new member to our family soon, if things go the way I think they should.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N not mine, I own nothing.

Ok, this chapter is something my husband and I did. It was a wonderful distraction a few months after I was diagnosed, but we took the kids and it was April...not a very smart time to go to Cleveland, OH...very cold

Also, time for some happy, and yes I am a big Beatles fan!

Slowly one shot

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Carlos, I tended to only call him that when we are alone, and I were taking a road trip. I asked him where we were going. Of course it was a surprise. I started to get worried after the fourth stop, We had been on the road for about 5 hours, and we were heading further north west, and it was so cold! It was only the first of April, what the heck is he thinking?

An hour and 45 minutes later we pulled into a hotel in Cleveland, OH. Really, what the heck is in Cleveland? Once we checked in, we went to our room and took a nap. Two hours later we were woken up by the alarm on his watch. He informed me that we going out for dinner, I got ready in jeans and a nice top that was low cut, but still high enough to hide my site. As we went down to the car he carried out my portable oxygen consintrator. The cold air hit my lungs, and I needed to turn up my O2.

Turns out we were going to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner, I was so excited I was bouncing in my seat. There was so much to look at, so many signed items, hand prints, and there was even a motorcycle used by Meatloaf on display. The food was amazing! He even shared and order of Captain Crunch chicken tenders with me. They aren't fried, but they aren't the healthiest thing in the world either. He was laughing more, and so much more relaxed than I had ever seen him.

"Carlos, what are we doing tomorrow? " I asked him

"Babe it's a surprise. I promise that you will love it!" He answered med and kissed the back of my hand. I think every woman near us sighed, I knew how the felt. He could make me melt with just a smile, and here he was being romantic too. Oh geez, in think I'm gonna have a heat flash! I looked over and saw our waitress fanning herself, I couldn't help but smirk. He winked at me, and the waitress stumbled a little. I let out a full belly laugh, he had done that on purpose.

"Babe, if she can't handle being around me, then how does she handle it famous people come in?" He asked in a stage whisper, that had me laughing all over again. Two hours later we were snuggled up on our bed watching a movie.

The next day, after a wonderful breakfast, he drove us to a pier, right next to a frozen Lake Erie. As we got out, bundled up really well, since it was only 25* outside and the winds were blowing at about 35 miles an hour. Itmwas bitter to say the least. We began walking towards a prism shaped building...OMG! We were going to the Rock and Roll hall of Fame! I had always wanted to go to it! Just last month I had mentioned to Carlos how they were doing a special tribute to the Beatles there in April. I was in awe. I couldn't believe he remembered it.

"Anything I can do to make your dreams come true Babe, anything."

As we walked in, he handed them our passes, and we had our picture taken at a back drop they had set up. They even had a coat room where we checked our coats and winter gear in at. I couldn't believe everything I saw. There was so much memorabilia, and we made it to the section they had set up for The Beatles. We spent over an hour in this area alone. I cried when we got to the section that was dedicated to John Lennon, and George Harrison. They even had a small section dedicated to Stuart Sutcliffe, and Pete Best. The only thing that upset me was we could not take pictures of anything.

After we finished there, we went to the little cafe and had lunch. There was an area called the Pink Floyd experience, that was really neat. The top two floors were dedicated to the Grateful Dead. I was in my glory! There were so many different things going on, there was even an area for Bon Jovi, being a Jersey girl, I had to see it.

The next few days were filled with museums, aquarium, but the only thing that came close to the hall of fame was going to B.A. Sweeties, the world's largest candy store. They had things that you couldn't get any more, things from my childhood. So many happy memories came flooding back. The next day we made our way back to Trenton.

"Thank you Carlos."

A/N yes when we were there the entire lake was frozen, and those were the weather stats the day we went to the hall of fame. I had lost my Mom two months after my diagnosis, and she had always wanted to go to the hall of fame, and we shared a love of the Beatles. I had a sweater of hers with me that day, and her perfume that I was wearing. As soon as I stepped into The Beatles exhibit I knew she was with me, and I cried my way through it. They were happy tears. I only wish I had been allowed to take pictures.


	5. Chapter 5 WORLD PH DAY

A/N not mine, I own nothing.

Today is not only Cinco de Mayo, but it is also World PH day. This one shot will explain how this day came about.

Slowly One Shots

World PH Day

Cinco de Mayo

Today we were celebrating Cinco de Mayo at our support geoup meeting, Ranger, Bobby and Ella came along today as well. When we arrived everything was decorated for a fiesta. This was going to be fun!

Ranger loaded up our plates, and I told Ranger that he needed to pay special attention to the guest speaker today. It suddenly dawn on him that everyone was wearing something periwinkle in color today, I had even made sure his shirt was that color. A few of us had on our Zebra stripped pins.

Today was not only Cinco de Mayo, but it was World PH day. It was a day to recognize this disease, and bring more awareness to it around the world. Our guest speaker was a parent to a child with PH, and would be explain the origins of this day.

The young man approached the front of the room and began to talk.

"Today we are celebrating world PH day. I have a young son, Josh, who has had PH since his birth 3 years ago. His diagnosis was terrifying, my wife and I were only 22, and our newborn son has a life threatening illness. Today he still struggles, but lives life like only a child can.

The first world PH day was May 5 th, 2012. You are probably wondering why this day was chosen, so I am going to tell you the story.

Over 30 years ago, on this day, in Madrid Spain, the first pediatric PH patient died. His PH was from a toxic amout of rapeseed oil. This is a way to not only honor his life, but to honor those who are affected by this disease. We strive to bring awareness to this on a daily basis, but today we strive to bring it into the media even more. We need to find a cure, not only for my son, but for those in this room, and all around the world. Everyday brings us closer, and the more people who know about this disease the closer we get."

A little boy with a Buzz Lightyear back pack came running up to the front of the room. He ran right to our speaker yelling,"Daddy!" his laughter rang out through the room. The man picked up the little boy and held him to his chest, you could see the tears forming in his eyes.

"This is why I have Hope for everyone."

He went and sat back down with his little boy. The celebration continued on, a news crew showed up, and took pictures, video, and interviewed many of the people in the room. I was surprised when Ranger agreed to an interview. He was so eloquent, that his interview played on all of the news shows that evening. Today was a day for HOPE for all of us.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N not mine, I own nothing

Slowly One Shots

I am scheduled for a right heart cath in three days; needless to say my nerves are shot. I am starting to have an increase in symptoms again. I am scared as hell.

The cardiologist had me wear a 24 hour Holster monitor, it showed six episodes of tachycardia. My heart rate was going above 100 beats per minute, and my resting heart rate was between 80 and 90. He wanted it around 60 because of the PH.

He also ordered an echocardiogram. That wasn't any better. My heart valves were leaking, and now my pulmonary valve was leaking too. What concerned him the most was that my pressures have almost doubled in three months. I am terrified.

How can this be happening to me. I was doing so well. Yes, I had had Pneumonia twice this year. The damn Vaccine didn't seem to help at all. God, I just want this to all go away.

Daddy was coming over tonight to keep me company, Ranger had to be in Boston until tomorrow. Ella was making us dinner, following my special diet.

Only low fat low sodium foods for me anymore. I can only have a maximum of 2 gms of salt per day and 1.5 liters of liquids per day. The salt I could handle, but the fluid restrictions were hard. Although I no longer looked pregnant and I lost 15lbs, turns out it was all fluid.

I let Daddy into our apartment and all of my fears let loose. I began to cry, not just cry, but wail hysterically. He held me as I let it all go. Every fear, every hurt, every little thing that I felt. He just held me.

As I calmed down, I looked up at him and saw the tears running down his face.

"I'm sorry Daddy, I didn't mean to cry all over you."

"No pumpkin, you do whatever you need to do. I'll be right here for you always. Now, can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm scared, Daddy. What if I really am getting worse again? Carlos doesn't need this in his life. None of you do."

"Pumpkin, you listen to me. If you are getting worse, we'll handle it. We will all do everything within our power to make sure you get back to a good spot.

"Carlos loves you, and no matter what he will stand beside you and support you."

"Thanks Daddy. I needed that."

I hugged him and as we ate our dinner Carlos surprised me and came through the door.

"Babe," he whispered in my ear.

"Carlos!" I said in surprise.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.

Daddy stayed with us for a little longer before he went home for the night. He promised that he would meet them at the hospital before the procedure.

"Babe, are you alright?"

"I'm better now that you're home.

"I'm just worried about Tuesday. I'm afraid that they are going to tell me that I'm getting worse, and that the treatments aren't helping anymore. I'm afraid that their going to at that it's time to begin to evaluate me for a heart lung transplant.

"I just want to be me again. This damn disease has sucked so much away from me, that I don't know which way is up anymore. How much more am I supposed to take?! You don't deserve this, hell I don't deserve this."

He held close an rubbed my back. He began to speak.

"Whatever they say, we'll get through it together. I promise. No matter what we will get through it."

We sat there holding each other as I calmed down. I am still afraid, but I had the reassurance that he would be by my side.

A/N This chapter was born out of fear. This Tuesday I am going in for a heart cath. My PH doctor and cardiologist want me re evaluated, and a Med change. The results of the holter monitor and echo that I put in here are exactly what is going on with me right no w. I am continuing to work on my other stories, but it may be a little while till I have something posted. Your reviews and PM's mean a lot to me, and I will answer them as I can.

Thank You,

Lynda


	7. Chapter 7

A/N not mine, I own nothing.

I haven't written in this series of one shots for awhile, but today I was reminded of how life can be so short. One of my PHriends who read my stories passed away from PH today. This is for you my dear friend Sam Starr. May you fly high and breath easy. You will be missed all over the world.

Slowly One Shots

The loss of a PHriend

Stephanie woke up early to a private message on her Facebook page. She had been struggling with the overwhelming amount of loss that the PH community has had since January. Too many adults and children had passed away in three short months.

She began to cry as she read the message. Her dear friend from Australia had passed away during the night. Sam had been a long term survivor, a woman who gave her hope.

Sam made her laugh from the other side of the world. They may not have met in person, but through their struggles they found friendship.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there crying. This loss hit her hard. They had shared many things in common with this disease and would often talk about it. They also shared a love of reading and Fanfiction.

Although they had been apart of the same online support groups, they made a connection through Fanfiction. They enjoyed similar stories and writers.

Ranger came into the office and found Steph there crying. He read the message over her shoulder and picked her up. Holding her in his arms.

"She's flying high with the angels now." he told her.

"She breathing easy now." Steph replied.

A/N I know it's not very long, but please understand that I am heart broken over the loss of Sam. She was such a beautiful person inside and out. The entire world will be a different place without her in it.

Lynda


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